This post will run through what you need to know before you start living with friends.
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Are you looking to move in with your friends, but you’re not sure what to expect? In this blog post we’re going to reveal the pros and cons of living with friends so that you can have a better idea of what you’re in for! There are many benefits to living with your besties, however it’s important that you’re also aware of the challenges it can create. That’s exactly why you’re here though, right? To understand the excitement it’ll involve and to prepare yourself for some potentially awky situations that may lie ahead. Let’s dive into the ups, downs and curveballs that this new living situation could throw at you.
This Is Everything You Should Consider Before Moving in With Friends
The opportunity to move in with your best mates it super exciting and, at the same time, kind of nerve-wracking. You’ve probably found yourself questioning the move, wondering how it’ll effect your friendships and your routine. Your friends are most likely wondering those same things. It can be quite the adjustment after all. So that you feel more confident in making this big decision, we’re about to break down the pros and cons of living with friends. Also, we’d be silly not to share our top tips for living alongside your amigos, so make sure to read 5 important pieces of advice.
The Pros, The Cons, and Our Advice to You…
The Pros
There are so many great things to look forward to when moving in with your close friends. Here are 6 big benefits:
The social aspect
Of course a big pro to living with friends is the social aspect. Since you’ll be under the same roof as your besties, you do not have to go far to get good company! It’s a blessing coming home to a house full of fun energy and people who are keen to hang out. It can be a struggle finding time to see friends while juggling College assignments, (and/or) a job along with life’s many other tasks. That’s why coming home to friends is such a great perk – you have heaps of time with them! There’ll be so many chances for adventures with your housemates too. Spontaneous late night drives, nights out in town, and maybe even weekend camping trips will be in the mix of your many adventures. Planning parts of your social life will also become a whole lot easier. Can’t remember if that 70s themed house party is this weekend or next? No phone calls or messaging needed, just ask your housemate!
Sharing the load
Ugh, chores. No one loves them, but we’ve all got to do them. The good thing about living with friends is that you can share this load of mundane, time consuming tasks with them. When you’re not super comfortable with the people that you live with, it can be a bit more tough to discuss the divvying up of dusting, vacuuming, garden care, bathroom cleaning and all the rest of it. So, be very grateful that you can easily discuss this with your mates. Also, sharing this load of housework can actually be made really fun with the right company. You can team up and actually have a laugh while ticking off that to-do list.
Keeping costs down
There are a ton of ways you can keep costs down when moving into a flat with friends. A couple of ways to do so are cooking with/for each other and sharing the costs of moving in. Cooking and eating with your housemates can be a huge cost saving. By the time you each purchase your own groceries and cook individual meals, you’ve spent unnecessarily. Have the conversation about splitting a grocery bill that will serve you all. You could each have certain nights each week where you cook for the group, or you could frequently combine your efforts in the kitchen! Your food expenses will come in cheaper and you’ll save on gas or electricity from less time spent using kitchen appliances. Another way to save is to not double up on shared items when moving in together. By this we mean that you don’t each need a lounge chair, or your own air fryer. You can plan ahead with your friends. You can go shop for a big couch to cater you all, pick an awesome air fryer for you all to share, etc etc. There are plenty more ways to save money too (How to Save Money While Living With Roommates, Rentberry).
safety and support systems are nearby
It can be difficult to move away from home and live on your own right away. When you live with family, there is a strong support system that’s very close. Your parents, siblings and extended family members are people that you can turn to during rough patches. Being on your own is a different story. Although your support system is not fully out of reach, it’s that little bit further away. That’s why moving in with friends is a great option. By moving away from family but closer to friends, you’re not losing that nearby support system. If you have a bad day, or you’re simply feeling down in the dumps, you’ll have your best friends to turn to. They can be your shoulder to lean on and offer a listening ear.
making unforgettable memories
That’s right! These years will be some of the best ones of your life! Living with friends will offer so many opportunities for fun experiences. It’s not necessarily about having wild nights hosting parties (although that might be right up your alley), it might be the many other experiences that stick in your memory bank. Evenings where you stay up late playing board games, numb out in front of the tele for a movie marathon, or just chat away until the sun comes up might be the ones that you remember the most fondly. In 10, 20, 30 years time you will be reminiscing over the unforgettable memories that’ll still make you smile and laugh!
Build stronger relationships
This pro might just be the most meaningful. This change of living situation can help you build some of the strongest friendships that you’ll have in life. We won’t shield you from the truth here – it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, at times it may get awkward and difficult, but that’s exactly why you can build strong relationships with friends while living with them. Staying friends through tough, testing times makes for really strong relationships. It comes down to effort and time. If you are able to sacrifice some solitude, be out in the shared spaces (like the living room), and be open for all types of activities, then you’re setting yourself up to create those strong connections. The more effort you put in with friends, and the more time you allow yourself to spend with them, the closer you will become!
The Cons
Living with friends also has it’s challenges. Here are 5 of them which you should be mindful of:
Your home can become your world (or the opposite)
One of the cons to be weary of is that your home-life can become consuming and you could end up spending all of your time there. It’s a good thing to be enjoying the company at home and feeling comfortable there, but you need balance. Balance of time in and out of the house is important. It’s otherwise very limiting if all of your time is spent with the same group of friends, likely doing lots of the same thing. Make an effort to seek that balance, and to find fun outside of the house. Be careful not to have the complete opposite issue either. If you start feeling uncomfortable living with your friends, you may fall into a routine of staying out of the house almost all of the time. If you find yourself doing this, you need to take action so that you feel more comfortable at home again.
There’s a lack of alone time
You may find that you lack alone time after moving in with your close friends. When you first move in together, you will probably be hanging out a heap. That’s super fun and all however, we all need our own space. If you lack alone time, self care gets thrown out the window and self care should always be a part of your routine. The thing is, no one can tell you how much time you need on your own. Everyone has different social batteries and requires various amounts of solitary time. Before moving in, find out how much time you need alone in your week. Make sure you get that time to recharge and rest your mind from everything, including socialising with the besties.
feeling pressured to be social and in a good mood
Another con is that you’ll feel compelled to be social for a majority of your time at home. When you get home after a long shift at work or several hours of brain-numbing lectures, you just want some time to chill. It’s fair enough if you want to be alone in that time. The thing is, when you walk through that front door and there’s a few friends waiting to see your smiley face, you can commonly get roped into hanging out immediately. The pressure is also felt if you are in your room on your own and the rest of the crew are laughing at that TV show you’ve been watching together, or if they are gossiping about drama from your social circle. There are so many situations that’ll make you feel obliged to be social. On top of that, you might feel that you have to put on a grin even after an average day. If your dynamic at home with friends is fun and lighthearted 24/7, you’re not going to want to show yourself in a bad mood. But that’s no reason to put on a show. It’s important you are open and honest with your friends.
private matters can become everyone’s business
There are some things you will having going on in your life that you do not want everyone to know about. When living with friends, it can be a bit tricky to hide those things when you want to. At the end of the day, these are your good friends, so they should respect your privacy, and if you share sensitive information, they should be caring and treat it confidentially. Even with that taken into consideration, it is more than fair for you to refrain from sharing private matters. Problems can arise when friends become a bit pushy and they want to find out why you are a bit off at any stage. In this scenario, or if they just happen to find out what’s going on, your private matters become everyone’s business. For example, if you have quit your job and you’re just managing to make ends meet financially, it can become gossip that spreads like wildfire. Make sure you respect your friends’ privacy and do your best to ensure that they respect yours.
boundaries can get broken
Boundaries. They are so important in friendships, and when they get broken things can get messy. A cool aspect of living with friends is that you share so much. You will know so much about what’s going on in each other’s lives, and although that’s usually a good thing, it can lead to boundaries breaking down. Whether it’s emotional or physical boundaries that get broken, they can take a toll on your friendship(s) and make things quite awkward at home. To avoid this happening, you have got to be very clear about what your boundaries are. If you don’t want your blanket that your grandma knitted you to leave your bedroom, state it. If you are feeling insecure about a romantic relationship, ask for it to not be talked about. When living with your friends, boundaries can be harder to maintain. Before moving in together, make sure to establish your most sensitive boundaries so that you are all on the same page.
Our Top Tips for Living With Friends
These are our 4 most important pieces of advice that you should take into consideration:
Communicate about the good and the bad
This is our number 1 top tip for living with friends. It’s not number 1 for no reason – effective communication is vital for friendships to remain healthy. With certain friends it can be really easy to stick to the positive subjects when chatting, and that does work in some cases. For friends that you live with, this isn’t going to work. It is essential that you communicate about the frustrating, annoying things going on as well as the good stuff. This is super important when it comes to anything that’s upsetting you at home. If you’re annoyed that the dishes weren’t done last night, then address it with your friend, or if your friends took up all the parking spots, express your frustration. When you don’t communicate over these things, frustration builds and builds tillyou eventually burst (and that’s the last thing you want).
Set healthy & realistic boundaries
This relates to the last con of our list. Setting boundaries is something that must be done before you move in with your friends. Don’t leave it until you are 2 or 3 months into living with one another, talk about boundaries now. It’s beneficial to do this because if you are unaware of each other’s boundaries and they accidentally get broken, then you will have awkward conflicts occurring at home. When establishing your boundaries ensure that they are realistic because if they are not, you’re setting them up to be broken. Make sure to ask your friends, “do you think that is reasonable and realistic?” Healthy boundaries make for healthy friendships (How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Friendships, Friendzone).
Instead of ignoring them, deal with any conflicts
Conflicts and arguments with friends will happen. They’re not the end of the world. In fact, fights with friends can bring you “all the more closer” (Why Do You Fight With Your Best Friend The Most? Elite Daily). There’s bound to be misunderstandings and disagreements when you live with some of your closest friends. What’s more important than avoiding them is dealing with them. If conflicts go on and on, unaddressed and not dealt with, that’s when they can lead to really negative outcomes. As long as you deal with the conflicts that come up, your abode will still be a safe space that is fun and lighthearted. These wee tiffs will not be what’s memorable from living with your friends. They’re just sprinkled in the experience to test how much you care for each other.
Split costs wisely & plan what you will share
Splitting costs with your friends while living together can sometimes lead to tension and conflict, so it’s key that you split costs carefully, fairly and wisely. The obvious expense you’ll be splitting is rent. This should be pretty straightforward as you’ll divvy it up evenly. Maybe there’ll a slight difference based on room size or whether you have an ensuite etc. It gets more complicated for other expenses like your amenity costs, shared groceries, shared streaming services and other small bills. Our advice for amenities is that you pay an even amount into a shared ‘house account’ that can cover all amenity costs (possibly a bit extra as a buffer). Whoever owns that ‘house account’ is responsible for paying the bills and, when you eventually move out of the house, they will evenly distribute the leftovers back to you and your other friends. This makes it easy and gives you a nice financial bump when you move out! Other small costs will depend on your living situation. Have discussions around sharing Netflix accounts, shopping for groceries together and splitting up other small shared expenses.
We (Taylin & Jordan) can not express how much we have loved living with friends over the past 5 years. Despite concerns and quarrels we’ve had with friends over that time, we certainly can say the pros did outweigh the cons. The more you appreciate and care for your friends, the better the experience of sharing a house with them will be. So, what do you think about moving in with your friends now? Do the pros outweigh the cons in your mind?
Let us know your fun and crazy stories about living with besties below in the comments!
