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Friendships are a massive part of your life. When you’re in college, trying out a new hobby, or heading into work, there are many people you’d see that you consider friends. But just how meaningful are those friendships? Do you crave a little more closeness? A key contributor to connecting with friends on a deeper level is vulnerability. Vulnerability in friendships is powerful because it fosters trust, empathy and it builds intimacy. No, no, don’t get your wires crossed here! Intimacy is not always of romantic nature, you know! Intimacy in a friendship is dependent on the closeness and familiarity between you and your peer. So, open up and let yourself be vulnerable. It will help you in developing strong, long-lasting relationships!
Author and public speaker Shasta Nelson published an insightful book that breaks down frientimacy. This is a term that Shasta herself has popularised, and it refers to the emotional intimacy between friends. Shasta’s 2016 book is split into 3 distinct sections. The Frientimacy Triangle is 1 of the 3 sections and it delves into why consistency, positivity and vulnerability are requirements for deepening friendships. Throughout the book Shasta discusses how vulnerability plays a big role in enhancing your connections with friends, and therefore, frientimacy!
The Power of Vulnerability in Friendships
Here are 5 reasons why vulnerability is powerful in friendships
1. Friendships grow stronger
Vulnerability allows you to connect with your friends on a deeper level. By sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and any insecurities that you have, your friendships will grow that much stronger!. In friendships, you build trust and intimacy based on by being open and honest. Holding on tight to your thoughts or feelings can limit how strong those friendships grow.
2. There is better understanding and empathy
When you’re vulnerable, you are allowing others the chance to see beyond your outer shell and understand your emotions and thoughts. This means your friends have the opportunity to genuinely empathise with you. It is important that you learn each other’s perspectives and show empathy, because that will develop an incredibly strong connection. Be vulnerable, share your unique experiences, and your friends will do the same in return.
3. Trust will be built
Being vulnerable with a friend demonstrates that you trust them. Trust is vital in friendships. Can you think of any close friends you have that you don’t trust? Didn’t think so! Sharing information about really private topics with your friends is the equivalent to saying “I trust you to know this”. That is an effective way to further build your friendship and develop intimacy.
4. Effective communication becomes commonplace
Transparent communication is the foundation of healthy friendships, and vulnerability is key to open, effective, and meaningful conversations. Both you and your friend being vulnerable takes any barriers away so that the talks you have are genuine. Your friends should give you confidence in communicating openly. Once you open up just a little bit, you’ll find that you open up completely very quickly!
5. You’ll have tremendous personal growth
Being vulnerable often involves introspection. That’s a bit of a big word, hey? Introspection means to think about your feelings, what you say, and what you do. In acknowledging these things, you naturally find areas for self-improvement. This kind of self-awareness is a crucial component of personal growth. By confronting your vulnerabilities with the help of friends, you can address and overcome them, leading to great personal development.
Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness
Many people pride themselves on appearing put together and as if they need no help. It’s this sort of mindset that can indicate vulnerability is a weakness, but it is most certainly not. Vulnerability is a strength. When you see someone who is confident in themselves and also confident in being vulnerable, that is powerful. The right use of vulnerability truly does build a personality up. It might seem like a hard balance between under-sharing and over-sharing your vulnerabilities, but that comes with time and practice of talking about yourself. Trust that your friends will be your support system in discovering and learning how to be more vulnerable.
3 Ways To Be Vulnerable in Your Friendships
1. Share your feelings and emotions
Opening up about your feelings and emotions is one of the fundamental ways to be vulnerable in your friendships. This involves expressing your thoughts, fears, hopes, and insecurities with your friends. It could be discussing something that’s bothering you, sharing your excitement about an achievement, or simply admitting when you’re feeling down. When you allow yourself to be emotionally transparent, it creates an opportunity for your friends to empathise with you so that you can connect on a deeper level.
2. Admit your mistakes and imperfections
To quote Miley Cyrus, “nobody’s perfect!” Acknowledging your own flaws, mistakes, and vulnerabilities can be a powerful way to connect with your friends. If you’re willing to admit that you’re not always right or that you’ve made mistakes, it shows authenticity. Your friends will appreciate honesty over lying in attempts to keep them happy. By your friends also sharing their own imperfections, you’ll create a genuine bond and all judgement will fade away.
3. Ask for help or support
Sometimes, vulnerability means recognising that you can’t handle everything on your own. When it gets too much, reaching out to friends for help or support is great move. Whether you’re going through a tough time, facing a difficult decision, or simply need to talk to someone, do not hesitate to lean on those close friends. Asking for help demonstrates trust in your friendship and allows your friends to be there for you when you need them. It also indicates that you’ll do the same – you’ll be there to support them when they need someone. Reciprocity is super important to build healthy friendships.
Make sure your friends feel comfortable with being vulnerable too
Remember, vulnerability should be a two-way street in healthy friendships. While it’s important to be honest and transparent with your friends, it’s also crucial to create an environment where they feel safe and encouraged to do the same! Building trust and empathy through vulnerability will form those sought after, more meaningful connections in your friendships.
In conclusion, vulnerability in friendships is like the secret ingredient that makes the food we call friendship extra delicious. It’s what adds substance and ignites deeper connections. It’s the sticky layer that holds us together for when friendships seem to be breaking! So, don’t be afraid to sprinkle a little vulnerability into your friendships. Watch as those companionships transform into genuine and meaningful connections. After all, it’s the heart-to-heart chats, shared laughter, and occasional ugly cry sessions that make friendships the beautiful messes that they are! Vulnerability is powerful.
Go and head to Shasta Nelson’s website to discover more about vulnerability, her friendship expertise, and you will get given even more insightful advice!