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The beginning of a relationship as well as in the very early stages is essentially a trial period. It’s a time where you look for signs that he’s a keeper and assess whether you want to be in a long-term with him. To help you make that decision we have put together a list of eighteen things we think are signs that he’s a keeper. 

An important thing to note is that at the end of the day, it comes down to what things you think are important in a man. You might read through this list and see things that you’re like: “Eh I don’t really mind if he doesn’t have this”, or “ooh yes, he definitely needs to be ____.” We all value and look for different things in the people we create relationships with. So read through this list of general signs he’s a keeper and pick out the things that are important to you when making the decision about whether or not to keep him around. 

18 Signs He’s A Keeper:

Your family and friends like him

If your family friends like him, then it’s a good sign that he is a keeper. Family and friends are external to the relationship, so they might be able to see things that you are not able to notice from within your relationship.

It can be easy in relationships (especially in newer ones) to ignore red flags or things that might affect your relationship in the future. Therefore, having an external opinion can be quite beneficial for highlighting this for you. If your family and friends are concerned about something, maybe it’s something you need to have a closer look at.

Your family and friends also generally have your best interests in mind and want the best for you. It also takes a lot of courage to tell someone that their partner isn’t good for them. So, if they are saying this to you, then you know that there’s generally a good reason and it’s something that you should reflect on. However, if they really like your partner and get along with them, then that’s a pretty good sign that you have their approval, and he is a keeper.

He respects you

Deserve to be respected! Your man should not disrespect you in any way. Respect is an important part of relationships and it should go both ways. If you respect him, he should respect you in return. There is a few ways in which he can show his respect and we’ll go through these now.

He is proud of you (but in a respectful way) 

Firstly, it’s proud of you. Your man should not be ashamed of you, he should not hide you or try to change you and he definitely should not lie to others about being with you. That is not going to do anything for your self-esteem, confidence, or the way that you feel about yourself and the relationship. You do not deserve that sort of treatment. If your man does that, he is definitely not a keeper! Similarly, your man should not parade you around like you are some sort of trophy. You are not something that he won. You’re not there to boost his ego. If he talks about you disrespectfully to his friends, then he is definitely not a keeper.

You man should be proud to call you his and not take you for granted. He should show that he is grateful to have you in his life by the way he talks about you and behaves with you. If he talks about you respectfully to others, in a way that makes you feel comfortable and valued, then this is one of the signs he’s a keeper.

He understands and respects your boundaries

If your man is a keeper, then he knows where your boundaries are, and he respects them. The key though is that you actually have to establish boundaries with him. As much as he can guess and assume where your boundaries lie, he is not a mind reader, and he does need a little bit of help from you to make them clear. However, once you’ve discussed your boundaries with him, he respects them and doesn’t push you to do things that you’re not comfortable with. This is both in private and in public. Bonus points, if he supports you and helps you protect your boundaries when others try to overstep or pressure you.

He seeks your opinion and cares about what you have to say

In a healthy relationship, you care about what your partner thinks. You value each other ‘s opinions and thoughts and seek them out when needed. If your man comes to you asking your opinion or thoughts about things (especially things you know are important to him), that’s a really good sign that he cares about what you have to say. It’s also a good sign that your opinion matters to him and that he has a lot of respect for what you have to say.

He’s ThoughtfuL

Thoughtfulness is a great quality to look out for in a guy. It’s really special to find someone who remembers the little things about you. Finding someone who will consider you in their everyday life and do little things to make you feel special and cared for is important. For example, maybe you are going through a stressful time, a thoughtful partner might do something extra to help you around the house without you asking, may surprise you with your favourite food or write you a note of encouragement. Being with someone who is thoughtful can increase your connectedness and make you feel more like a team. Thoughtful guys are more likely to have your best interests in mind and do their best not to hurt you. If your man is thoughtful, this may be a sign he’s a keeper. 

He’s A Good communicator  

Good communication is so important in all relationships!

If he has good communication is is able to communicate his wants and needs to you openly and honestly. He also has good communication skills like monitoring his own body language and tone of voice and being able to read yours. He will also communicate with you assertively and calmly talk things through with you when needed (no silent treatment or shouting at you). 

And here’s the important part: if he’s a good communicator it means he also listens to you properly! That means actively listening to you and giving you his full attention when you are speaking.  It also means making you feel listened to and making you feel valued and understood through the way he pays attention to you. 

If your man is able to do all of this, then this is definitely a sign that he’s a keeper!

He’s Empathetic

If your man is empathetic, then he is more likely to be a thoughtful and understanding partner. He will be able to put himself in other people’s shoes, including yours. This is a great quality to have in a partner, especially when you are going through a tough time or you end up in a conflict with them. In these situations, your man is able to see things from your perspective and really try to understand where you are coming from. If he is empathetic he can offer you better support, make you feel understood, and potentially be better at conflict resolution. 

He shows he can be vulnerable with you

It is important for both people in a relationship to be able to be vulnerable with each other. It allows you to be there for one another and act as each other’s support network.  It’s nice to know that he feels comfortable enough to express himself truly around you. If he is comfortable showing you his softer, more emotional side then this is a sign that he truly trusts you and it can really affirm how you both feel about the relationship. 

He is comfortable around you and you are comfortable around him

A big sign he’s a keeper is that you feel comfortable in his presence. You feel safe, confident, and at ease- like you are able to let your guard down and be your genuine self. Similarly, he is able to be his true self around you and be comfortable in your presence- it goes both ways. It’s important to be comfortable in a relationship. Relationships become such a big part of people’s lives so you really don’t want to spend a large majority of your life feeling discomfort. 

He makes you feel valued and important

Your man is a keeper if he makes you feel valued and important. This could be through grand gestures or it can be through little daily efforts. Daily efforts could include things like asking and genuinely being interested in your day, making you your favourite hot drink in the evenings, or asking for your opinion on things that matter to him. He might also do little things to show you how much you mean to him- like randomly leaving you love notes to find. Or, he making sure to show his appreciation for you and to thank you for your efforts.  He might show this in different ways, it could be through things he says, things he does, or even just the way he behaves. Whatever it is that he does, if it leaves you feeling valued and cared for then you are with a good one.

He takes responsibility for his actions and apologises when necessary

Everyone makes mistakes. That’s part of life, but it’s how he deals with them that is important. You don’t want someone who is going to put all the blame on you (or someone else). It’s not respectful, you don’t deserve it, and it shows their immaturity.  You want to be with someone who is going to take responsibility for their actions and genuinely apologises when they are wrong. You also want someone who is willing to communicate properly with you in these situations and be open to resolving any conflict. 

He supports you

In a relationship, your aim is to function as a team. Therefore, you want to have a partner that you can rely on to support you when you need it. You want someone who has your best interests in mind, someone who will support your goals and dreams and genuinely wants the best for you in life. Someone who will cheer you on, lift you up when you’re down, and stand up for you when needed. If he does all of this for you, he’s a keeper. 

He’s affectionate

He shows you his love in the way that he behaves towards you. There are many different kinds of affection and everyone will feel comfortable giving and receiving different kinds of affection. Maybe you notice that he is always affirming you through his words or maybe it’s in the way he holds your hand or strokes your hair, or even in the way that he looks at you. If your man treats you in an affectionate way then it shows you that he cares about you and wants to be kept around. 

His long-term goals compliment yours

If he has long-term/future goals that work well with yours or you want the same things in life, chances are your lives are going to move in a similar direction. This is definitely not an essential must-have for him to be a keeper (because there are long-term relationships that do make having different life goals work). However, if your life goals are aligned it makes it way easier to stay in a long-term relationship with them. It means that there will have to be less compromise and less of a risk of either one of you missing out on your dreams/prioritising your dreams over the relationship. 

He has similar values to you

Having similar values is pretty important in a long-term relationship. Values are the principles that underpin who you are and act as a guide for how you behave and how you live your life. It can be very difficult for people to change their values once they are set. If you are fundamentally different from your partner it has the potential to cause a lot of tension and disagreements. It could also lead you to feel other negative feelings like embarrassment or shame towards them. Whereas, if your values are aligned, it can lead you to living a more harmonious life together. 

He makes you happy

You deserve to be happy in life! Find someone who will contribute your happiness rather than draw you away from it. That is not to say that there won’t be times when he upsets you and yes there may be times when your relationship goes through stress or a rut and it seems that he is no longer making you as happy. However, if you know in your heart that your man generally makes you happy in life and if you can laugh with him and have fun with him, then that’s a sign that he is a keeper. 

He puts in effort into the relationship

One of the biggest keys to long-lasting relationships is effort. You both have to put effort into staying together and keeping your relationship healthy if you want to last. If your man consistently puts in effort into maintaining and improving the relationship (as well as himself) then this is one of the big signs he’s a keeper because it shows he wants your relationship to last. 

Does your man show any of these common signs he’s a keeper? If he does, then he could potentially be a good partner for you to keep around. There are lots of good qualities to look out for in a long-term partner. What matters is that they fulfill the things you value in a partner. So, with that in mind, is he a keeper?