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In life you come across so many different types of people and form hundreds of unique connections. The diverse range of relationships you build give your days that sense of excitement! From co-workers to besties to friends of friends, we are constantly making new valuable connections. There’ll be times where you wonder how much time and energy you should give to each person that you come across, and that becomes a matter of determining who is a true friend of yours. At times, it can be difficult to establish the difference between an acquaintance or a genuine friend. 

Truly great friends should be cherished, so it is important to prioritise them and make time for them in your busy schedule! This blog post is going to delve into the contrasting dynamics of acquaintances and friends by exploring the qualities that set them apart. Discovering how meaningful of an impact each type of your relationships have will help guide you in determining which relationships require more attention. Open yourself up to reflect on the depth of your current friendships so that you can answer whether that person you’re thinking of is an acquaintance or friend.

Are they an acquaintance or a friend?

Friends: The deeper connections

A friend is someone you trust and enjoy spending time with. Close friends also commonly share your core values and beliefs. Without that common ground or an emotional bond it tends to be more difficult to grow a friendship. Even if people do not share all the same interests or values, with time and enough effort, they can still become good friends. In a healthy friendship, both people are willing to dedicate some of their time and effort for each other. 

Here are some common elements of a friendship:

• You know each other below the surface

Good friends share intimate details of their lives because there is a base of trust. Sharing personal thoughts, strong opinions and experiences is a big part of all friendships.

• Being there during challenging times and giving unconditional support

A friend really gets the chance to prove themselves when things are not at their best. Whether you are struggling with a hard time at work, a rough patch in a relationship or your mental health is not at it’s best, a true friend is there for you. Supporting a friend through tough times builds connections so that they’re even stronger.

• You have time for each other outside of large social events

Healthy friendships usually involve catching up 1 on 1 or in smaller groups from time to time. It is rare to build a super strong connection if you only interact with a particular person at parties and other big social events.

• Communicate openly without judgement

Communication is a massive part of friendships. A lot of the time, catching up with your mates is mostly about sharing recent stories and new information about each other’s lives. Your best friendships will involve the two of you having unfiltered chats where you feel confident to discuss anything. Knowing that you can open up to someone and they will not judge you is such a great feeling.

 Acquaintances: The casual connections

An acquaintance is a person that casually floats in and out of your life that you have very light interactions with. It’s the kind of connection where you recgonise their face at the popular coffee spot, exchange smiles and maybe a few words, but there’ll be no groundbreaking conversation. That kind of relationship definitely has it’s place. It’s really fun to have acquaintances so that you have some basic connections for when you bump into them at gatherings and other social events. The beauty of it is, is that acquaintances can become friends very quickly. Sometimes it’s just a matter of those conversations passing the 2 minute mark to have it blossom into a new friendship!

Here are some common elements of relationships with an acquaintance:

• You only know each other on a surface level

Unlike true friends, acquaintances will limit their conversations to very general topics. With an acquaintance you will probably withhold sensitive or intimate information because you do not have that same foundation of trust. The personal details you’ll share is mostly essential. Chats will be based around jobs, obvious hobbies and, if it’s not about getting to know each other, it’s things like the weather – exciting stuff!

• You have few shared experiences and interactions

Since acquaintances are people you do not cross paths with very frequently, there are usually a limited amount of shared experiences or interactions that can be remembered. A lot of your acquaintances will be into different hobbies and not share the same major interests which means that there is little opportunity to bump into one another and develop that relationship.

• There is a next to no emotional investment 

Emotionally investing in someone helps build a friendship. The more you gain a persons trust and the more you care for them, there will be more opportunities to develop a deeper connection. Acquaintances will not show as much interest or investment and that really limits the potential of what the relationship could become. 

• They are not part of your support system

Acquaintances typically have limited knowledge of your personal life, so they are not your go-to people when times are tough. Also, without having shared deeper conversations with you, acquaintances do not have the same level of care for you that a friend does. An emotionally invested friend will be there by your side and welcome conversations about feelings and intimate details.

The acquaintance vs friend table

The table below helps highlight the common differences to determine if a person is an acquaintance or friend

Attribute	Friend	Acquaintance
Time Investment	◈◈◈◈◈	◈
Emotional Connection	◈◈◈◈◈	◈
Trust & Reliability	◈◈◈◈◈	◈
Vulnerability	◈◈◈◈◈	◈
Shared interests	◈◈◈◈	◈
Conversation Depth	◈◈◈◈	◈

How to differentiate: Acquaintance or Friend?

Here are some questions to answer that will help you in differentiating your relationships:

• Are there interests and hobbies that you have in common?

The more quality interests that you share with your peers will impact the time you spend together and provide plenty of opportunity for engaging in valuable conversation which helps build a connection. Friends can make use of that opportunity whereas acquaintances do not share as many interests or hobbies.

• How deep are your conversations and interactions?

Even if you interact with someone often, it might only be surface level interactions that you have. Great friends will have quality conversations and interactions time and time again. The quality, depth and time spent communicating with someone will certainly impact how close you bond with them.

• Are efforts and interactions consistent?

Consistency is extremely important. Whether it is an hour stop at the nearest coffee shop or a 1 minute phone call, someone making the consistent effort to stay in touch means a lot. If you are able to frequently talk yet you never run out of things to talk about, then you know you’re headed in the direction of best friend tertiary!

• Do you feel well supported in the hard times?

Acquaintances can be quick to leave during the hard time whereas friends will stick by your side all the way through. Your friends will be there offering a shoulder to lean on and show the willingness to discuss unpleasant and upsetting subjects if that’s what you need. It separates who truly cares for you, and who does not want to bother.

• Are you confident in sharing your vulnerabilities?

Many, many close friendships are grown from times of adversity. When you hit a period in your life where things are headed more downhill than up, then it is nice to have a friend’s support. You need people in your life that you feel confident and comfortable with so that you can let them know what is going on without fear of judgement or betrayal. Sharing your vulnerabilities helps get rid of any extra weight that you may have to carry. 

Nurturing the different kind of relationships you have

Nurturing a relationship with an acquaintance does not require excessive effort. It’s all about keeping the positive interactions going and gradually expanding the range of what you talk about with them. Try to initiate conversations about shared interests or experiences, even if there is not much common ground to start with. You might realise that you have a lot more in common than you thought. When chatting with your acquaintances, it is important that you show genuine curiosity about their life. Remembering small details they have shared can go a long way. It is also important to be mindful of boundaries your acquaintance might have and avoid delving into the highly personal topics.

On the other hand, nurturing a friendship involves investing the right amount of time and effort so that you build a strong foundation. Make a point of regularly spending quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations about values and aspirations, and offer your support during good times as well as bad times. Shared experiences, trust, and vulnerability are the building blocks of friendships. With the right foundation, a friendship can have endless potential. 

In your social circle it is healthy to maintain a balance of acquaintances and friends. While your close friends provide emotional support and more meaningful interactions, acquaintances diversify the types of social interactions you have. Maintaining relationships with acquaintances and friends gives you a well-rounded social experience. The close bonds you share with your friends gives you a sense of belonging and comfort, while interactions with acquaintances introduce you to new ideas and various viewpoints. Being able to identify which of your relationships fit into either category (acquaintance or friend) is beneficial for deciding who requires more of your effort and who you need to spend more time with.