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While being around others can help you feel a sense of belonging and bring you positive feelings, too much of it can leave you feeling stressed and/or overstimulated. Therefore, while it is important for you to maintain social connections, it is also important for you to spend time by yourself and recognise the signs you need some alone time.

Having time alone is an important part of maintaining your mental health and overall well-being. Although, the amount of alone time a person needs is very individual.  Some people might have social batteries that take ages to drain, while others might go from 100% to 20% in a matter of moments. Therefore, it is important to notice when your mind and body send you signs you need some alone time and listen to it. To help you be aware of what these signs are, we have made a list of common signs you need some alone time. This can help you be more mindful of these signals and start doing something about it. Recognising the signs that you need alone time is the first step in taking care of your well-being.

How Much Time Does The Average Person Spend Alone?

How much time the average person spends alone depends on their age. How we spend our time in a lifetime changes significantly. Generally, as we get older the amount of time we spend alone tends to increase. 

Here is the average amount of time Americans spend alone in a day based on their age:

• 20 years old: 278 minutes (4.6 hours)
• 30 years old: 250 minutes (4.2 hours) 
• 40 years old: 278 minutes (4.6 hours)
• 50 years old: 361 minutes (6 hours)
• 60 years old: 413 minutes (6.9 hours)
• 70 + years old: > 449 minutes (>7.5 hours)

 All of this data is based on surveys collected between 2009 and 2019. For the full graph and additional information check out Our World In Data. 

Signs You Need Some Alone Time

Here are some common signs you may be in need of a moment to yourself:

1. You’re experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed- If your daily activities and responsibilities are leaving you feeling overwhelmed, it’s a sign you need some alone time. You need some time to sit and process your emotions and give yourself a chance to have a break from all the things that are making you feel this way.

2. You are starting to dread having to go to social events – This could be a sign that your social battery is dead! You need to balance activities that drain your social battery with things that recharge it. Spending some time alone and giving yourself some good self-care is the only way to recharge this. Instead of dragging yourself to that next event, why not have a self-care day? 

3. You feel overstimulated and easily distracted- Feeling distracted and/or overstimulated are definitely signs you need some alone time! If you are constantly around others or flitting from one task to the next, it can leave your brain feeling overloaded. Being crammed with all these different stimuli can make you feel like your brain is racing at 500 miles per hour. It can make it difficult for you to concentrate or focus your attention on a task or even a person speaking. 

4. You feel exhausted – You may be fulfilling some of your physical rest needs by making sure you get 7-8 hours of sleep. But other than sleep, are you taking time in your day to give yourself a chance to rest your mind and your body? Feeling exhausted even after a good night’s sleep is a sign you need some time alone to rest and recharge yourself. 

5. You are starting to become irritable and snappy – Signs you need some alone time definitely include being snappy. If you notice yourself becoming easily frustrated by little things, or find yourself lashing out at the people around you, you definitely need some alone time ASAP! 

6. You constantly feel stressed and it’s not going away – If you wake up morning feeling stressed and can’t seem to shake this feeling throughout the day, you are a candidate for needing some alone time. You may not be getting enough time in your day to allow yourself to rest and unwind. Chronic stress can seriously affect both your physical and mental health, so it’s important to stay on top of and manage it.

7. You’re productivity has taken a dip – If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, overstimulated, or finding it difficult to concentrate, it can seriously affect your productivity. It’s definitely not easy to try to get things done and feel on top of your checklist when you are feeling any of the above emotions. Your mood can effect your behaviour, so give yourself some time off to reset so that you can get back to feeling good and being productive. 

8. You have started to abandon your self-care – Whether it’s because you are too busy, too tired or it feels too overwhelming because it is another thing to add to your list- abandoning your self-care is a sign you need some alone time. Self care is important for your overall well-being, so you need to be making sure you get some alone time to prioritise it in your life. 

9. You are thinking about being alone and are craving the idea of being by yourself – Have you ever been in the middle of doing an activity (whether it’s social or work-related) and you started imagining yourself doing something alone? Have you ever been so social that you craved being alone? Craving or thinking about being alone are absolutely signs you need alone. Your mind and body are telling you that this is what you need/want – so listen to it!

10. You lack enjoyment in your everyday life- Being too busy can sap all of your energy and leave you feeling run down. When you are in this state it is really difficult to find enjoyment in your day because you are viewing life through a stressed, overwhelmed, or low-energy frame of mind. You don’t have the spare energy to fuel these high-powered positive emotions or to do the things you would normally enjoy. This can leave you feeling very meh about your everyday life. If you are feeling this way, please schedule yourself some alone time as soon as you can. 

How Do You Find Yourself Some Alone Time?

Create boundaries- If you want to prioritise getting some alone time then you need to start setting some boundaries, You need to create boundaries for yourself around your time. For example, a boundary could be: “I will put down all work tasks or life admin (e.g. cooking and cleaning) at 9 p.m. every night so that I can have some time to myself.” Setting boundaries for yourself will help you know what to expect of yourself and help you respect your use of time.  You also need to create boundaries with your friends, co-workers, family, and/or partner so that they can be aware of and respect your need for some time alone. 

Prioritise it – People make time for the things that they care about. If you are really craving alone time you will prioritise it and make the time in your day for it. This could mean that you get up slightly earlier or go to bed slightly later to gain some extra time. It could also mean putting down your phone, finishing your tasks earlier in the day or saying no to something so that you end up with a bit of spare time. Whatever it is you choose to do, if make alone time a priority for yourself, you can find time for it. 

Say no – You will have to say no to things from time to time so that you can get some time alone. You have a limited amount of time in the day and if you want to prioritise time alone this is one way to get it. Say no to the unnecessary things, to the things you don’t need or want to do. If someone invites you to do something when you had planned to be by yourself, it is okay to say no. If you do it in a polite way, they will understand.

Put the time you spend scrolling on your phone to use- Do yourself a favour and take a break from social media to spend some quality time with yourself. Studies have shown that doing this can really help your overall well-being. Plus, scrolling on your phone can take up a lot more time than people realise. If you cut some of your scroll time, you’ll be surprised how much time you end up having on your hands.

Make it part of your daily or weekly self care routine – Alone time is a form of self care so it should definitely be considered a part of your self care schedule. this helps you be consistent with it and ensures that you actually get alone time regularly. 

Schedule it – If routines aren’t your thing but planning your day/week/month is your jam, then definitely make sure you pop some alone time into your schedule. It can help ensure that you actually get this alone time. This is because you are essentially booking time for yourself, so when things come up you can see that time has already been blocked up for you. Having it written down serves as a reminder and is more likely to result in you actually spending some time alone.

How Do You Embrace Alone Time?

The best way to embrace alone time is by using it to do something that you enjoy and that will help you relax. Use your alone time to help yourself unwind and reset. This will help you overcome some of those negative feelings mentioned above and help you start enjoying life again and wanting to be around others. Try to use this time to be present with yourself. 

Ideas for activities to do alone:

• Going for a walk
• Doing absolutely nothing (spending time doing nothing can really benefit your mental health)
• Read a book
• Lay down in the sunshine
• Go on a bike ride
• Do a puzzle
• Listen to music
• Do some journaling
• Meditate 
• Do something creative- like crocheting, painting, or building something
• Put some time into one of your hobbies

There are so many ways you can spend time alone. If you are looking to be inspired by more unique and creative ways to spend time alone, check out this post. 

Remember that alone time is not selfish; it’s a necessary component of self-care and personal development. It is important that if you notice yourself experiencing any of the signs you need some alone time, you schedule yourself some as soon as possible. Use that time by yourself to do something that will help you relax, recharge, and reset. Your body and mind will thank you for it!