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If you’re wondering how to give yourself affection then you really need to tap into your self-love language! Understanding your self-love language can help you learn how to give yourself affection and start really showing yourself the self-love you deserve! To help you on this journey to self-love discovery, we have broken down the five self-love languages and given you some tips for discovering the self-love language that speaks to you.

Then, once you know what yours is, it’s time to practice your love language on yourself! It’s time to check out this post. This post will give you a jump-start by providing self love exercises and suggestions on how you can use your self-love language to show yourself some TLC. Enjoy x 

What Are The Self-Love Languages?

If you haven’t already learned about the five love languages, now’s your chance! The five self-love languages are really just the five love languages but they’re just in relation to yourself.  Basically, your self-love love language is how you like to show yourself love and affection.  

Physical Touch

Physical touch self-love is about showing yourself some physical affection and doing the things that make your body feel good. It’s also about taking that extra time and care to look after your physical well-being. If physical touch is your self-love language you know how to love your body and give the TLC it needs to love you back. 

Acts of service

Acts of service self-love is about showing yourself love through the things you do for yourself. It might be through making your life less stressful by not procrastinating on the things you need to get done. Or, it could be through focusing on your self-care by doing things for yourself that will help protect or enhance your well-being. Alternatively, it could also be about doing things for yourself that will make you feel happy. If acts of service is your self-love language then you know how to be proactive (and even productive) while showing yourself some love. 

Quality Time

The love language of quality time is all about giving yourself some time where you can be the focus of your attention. It’s about spending time enjoying your own company and being present with yourself. This can mean spending some quality time alone doing the things that bring you joy. It could also mean reserving some time to yourself to slow down and give yourself some self-care. If your self-love language is quality time you know how to show yourself that you are a priority and are worth spending your time on. 

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation self-love is about showing yourself some love by speaking kindly to yourself (or thinking kind thoughts about yourself). Words of affirmation are the positive words or phrases you use to reinforce how you feel yourself. You can either say them out loud to yourself or just silently think them to yourself. Through these positive affirmations, you build a positive headspace for yourself to exist in. If words of affirmation is your self-love language then you are your own cheerleader. You know how to support, uplift and empathise with yourself. 

Receiving Gifts

This self-love language is all about you receiving gifts… that you get for yourself. You’re not waiting for others to show you they’re thinking about you by giving you thoughtful gifts. No, you’re too busy showering yourself with love by giving yourself the gifts you know you will love. It doesn’t mean you’re out there buying the most expensive thing for yourself to show your love (although no judgment if that is you). Plus it doesn’t even mean you have to physically buy yourself gifts, you might like to make stuff for yourself. Regardless, if your self-love language is 

Identifying your self-love language

You might already know your love language, but do you know your self-love language? Your self-love language may be completely different from the love language you express with others. If you already have your self-love language sorted feel free to skip ahead to the self-love ideas section. But, if you don’t know your self-love language, stick around, because this next bit is for you!  

Here are our top tips for figuring out how you like to show yourself some love:

1. Identify Your Preferences:

It’s time to do some self-analysis. You can gain a lot of clues about what your self-love language may be from looking at the things you like and dislike. Have a think to yourself about the activities, behaviors, and gestures that make you feel most loved and cared for when you do them for yourself. Or, take time to notice yourself doing them as you go about your day. In that moment, take a second to stop and think about how that particular behaviour or activity is making you feel. Then, note it down somewhere so you can start making yourself a wee list of these things that make you feel loved. Once you have a decent list you can look through it and see if there are any themes in the things you like that point to one of the self-love languages. 

2. Do Some Journaling:

If journaling is your jam, why not use your journaling skills for a bit of self-discovery? Use your next set of journal entries to jot down your thoughts and feelings about self-love. Here are some prompts to help get you started:

• “What activities or behaviors do I do that make me feel most relaxed and content?”
• “How do I like to treat myself when I’ve had a challenging day?”
• “How do I like to spend time on my own?”
• “What types of self-care practices bring me the most joy and fulfillment?”?
• “What activities make me feel most connected to myself and my well-being?”

3. Do A Self-Love Quiz:

There are heaps of self-love language quizzes available- here’s one from Buzzfeed and one from Marriage.com to get you started. These kinds of quizzes are not by any means definitive, however, they can provide you with some insights about yourself and they prompt you to do some self-reflection (plus they can be fun to do). Also, you can even use them as a guide for your observations and see whether you can confirm your result.  

4. Let Your Emotions Guide You:

Pay attention to how different self-care activities affect your emotions. If an activity makes you feel relaxed, content, and more in touch with yourself, it might be a part of your self-love language. Also try to notice the things that bring a smile to your face, that make you feel at peace, or ignite your passions. These are good things to try to notice because they are often aligned with your self-love language.

5. Experiment with the different love languages:

A great way to figure out what your self-love language is by simply trying all the love languages out. Start by trying different self-care activities that resonate with you and note how they make you feel. Then start experimenting with various self-love languages. See which ones make you feel most nurtured and fulfilled and see which ones you would be more likely to use when you need that extra bit of love. Nothing like a bit of good old-fashioned trail and error to help you figure this out. 

6. Embrace a Combination:

It’s good to keep in mind that you may have a combination of self-love languages that resonate with you. You might have different ways of showing yourself love depending on the situation and how you are feeling in that situation. That’s perfectly okay! There is absolutely no rule saying that you must only have one love language. If you’re vibing with a couple of these love languages and are struggling to choose just one, don’t limit yourself. Rather embrace the combination and the fact that you now have more ways of showing yourself some love!

7. Be Patient with Yourself:

As you’ve probably noted from the tips above, identifying your self-love language can be a bit of a process. This means it definitely can take time. So please be patient and compassionate with yourself during the process. You are worth it.

I want to leave you with this quote by Charles Bukowski: “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” Loving yourself is the foundation for being able to truly love others. So be sure to take the time to learn and understand yourself and appreciate the wonderful person you are. You are worthy of your love.