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Let’s start by establishing one very important thing: You are capable of all that you set your mind to. You probably needed to hear that if you’ve been finding yourself consumed by self doubt and overthinking. Both self doubt and overthinking are habits that are part of a cruel cycle which we’re going to help you break. These internal adversaries cast shadows on your self confidence and aspirations by weaving webs of worry. Doubt and an overactive mind can hinder you from taking confident strides towards your goals and really put you in a rut. Your journey of self discovery, self confidence and personal growth requires confronting these destructive habits head-on, dismantling the barriers they create and paving the way for you to feel more empowered and live a fulfilling life!

Understanding and Combatting Self Doubt

“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.”

–Jean Vanier–

Take a look at similar inspirational and meaningful quotes here.

Uncovering the Roots of Self Doubt

Expectations set by society

Self doubt and overthinking can have many different origins, and yours will be unique. Because of this, it’s beneficial to look back on what has led you to start feeling this particular way about yourself – we want to get to the bottom of it.

One prominent source of self doubt is the influence of societal expectations and other external pressures. It’s likely that from an early age you found yourself overwhelmed by societal standards which dictated what success looks like, how you should behave, and what qualities are deemed valuable. Since it’s difficult and sometimes just unrealistic to meet such standards, often these society-set benchmarks can bring about a sense of inadequacy. Comparing yourself to others is also a common catalyst for self doubt. You’re not alone if you look at other’s desirable traits and wish you could have them, but that envy leads to comparison and that comparison fuels self doubt. Of course, social media is vital to mention when uncovering the roots of your self doubt. “Impossible standards are set” on the likes of Instagram and TikTok these days, and that may well be what planted the seed for self doubt in your mind (Social Media and Self-Doubt, Rae Jacobson – Child Mind Institute).

Your internal narrative

The roots of self doubt do extend beyond societal influences. Internal narratives and beliefs shaped by your past experiences and interactions play a big role in fostering doubt.

Negative feedback and criticism from others can often cause you to start doubting yourself. Even people with the hardest skin can be hurt by harsh words – getting critiqued over and over truly can weigh you down. We all make mistakes and have our “oopsie” moments, right? Some of us are just better at brushing it off. You may perceive your past mistakes as plain right failures, and that self-destructive perception almost certainly spirals into self doubt. Instead of dwelling on the errors from your past, view them as learning opportunities so that you can grow and adapt. The internalisation of external judgments can lead to a distorted self-perception, where you begin to question your abilities, worth, and potential. Recognising these internal narratives and understanding their origin is the crucial first step in dismantling the foundations of self doubt. Not only that – it’ll also foster a healthier sense of self worth and confidence.

Tackling Self Doubt

Challenge negative self talk

To overcome self doubt and overthinking, you’ve got to challenge your negative self-talk. Challenging these thought patterns is akin to dismantling self doubt. It involves questioning as well as reframing those internal narratives that lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead of accepting self-critical thoughts at face value, adopt some more objective perspectives and consider alternative, positive interpretations (ask yourself – how do others talk about you?). Reciting positive self-affirming statements becomes a key tool in this process, gradually reshaping your perception of yourself and replacing negative self-talk.

Set realistic goals

When combating self-doubt, it’s wise to set realistic, achievable goals (at least for starters). Not getting caught up in the big picture and setting realistic goals provides a tangible roadmap for success. Unrealistic goals and/or expectations often contribute to a sense of failure and perpetuate self-doubt. By breaking down larger objectives into smaller, more achievable steps, you can build a track record of success, which will improve your confidence over time. Celebrating these smaller victories becomes crucial practice as it reinforces a positive self-perception and counteracts the narrative of inadequacy.

Improve your self awareness

Cultivating self-awareness is also a foundational tool in the arsenal against self-doubt. It involves developing a deep understanding of your own thoughts, emotions, and triggers. By learning to recognise the patterns and situations that fuel your self-doubt, you’ll gain the ability to interrupt those negative cycles. That’s the major aim – stop the cruel cycle. Regular introspection and mindfulness will enhancing your self-awareness, enabling you to navigate your emotions and thoughts with more clarity.

Build up your self image

Building a positive self-image is important in your fight against self doubt and overthinking. This involves acknowledging and embracing your strengths, achievements, and unique qualities. Set aside all the negativity and doubt and love yourself a little! Engaging in activities that foster a sense of accomplishment, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and practicing self-compassion will contribute to forming a resilient self-image. The more you swap out self-doubt for self-love, you’ll be better at facing challenges with greater certainty and self-assurance.

Understanding and Combatting Overthinking

“Be where you are, stop overthinking, and focus on what you are doing.”

–Roy T. Bennett–

Breaking Down Overthinking

The link between self doubt and overthinking

We are discussing self doubt and overthinking together in this post because they are closely linked. Doubting your abilities and decisions propels your mind into a cycle of analysis and scrutiny. Overthinking tends to be an attempt to find reassurance in your words or actions, or to uncover flaws that may not actually exist.

So, to stop doubting yourself will tremendously help you avoid overthinking and you’ll be one step further into your journey of self improvement.

Triggers that cause overthinking

Ever find yourself lying awake at night, contemplating that one crucial sentence that you stumbled on that day? It’s not uncommon to experience this. We can all be guilty of replaying our mistakes in our minds from time to time. It may not only be mistakes that you dwell on, even the simplest decisions can become mental gymnastics. One of the key culprits for fueling this sort of overthinking is self doubt. Take this for example: you’re about to hit ‘send’ on that email, but suddenly, a sneaky voice in the back of your mind goes, “Am I sure this is the right tone? What if they think I’m too enthusiastic or not enthusiastic enough?” Self doubt plants the seed, and before you know it, you’ve thrown yourself into a full blown analysis of your entire communication style.

Other triggers of overthinking are:

• Indecision

When faced with even the most insignificant choices, you may overthink potential outcomes or consequences. Being decisive is something you can practice at. Start to build your confidence up by making smaller decisions more quickly and it can progress from there. Let’s get you away from feeling like making even simplest of decisions is a monumental task.

• Uncertainty

The future is always uncertain. Unfortunately, the ambiguity about what lies ahead can lead to overthinking. Your mind attempts to predict and prepare for all possible scenarios, and that sends you into a stressful spiral. Learning to enjoy and embrace the beauty of uncertainty is really important for your journey of self discovery.

• Regret and guilt

Past mistakes or perceived failures may lead to overthinking as you replay events and conversations over and over, regretting what you did or said. Replaying events seems like the best way to uncover alternative outcomes or find ways to avoid similar errors in the future, but it can easily lead you down a rabbit hole full of regret and horrible feelings. For similar reasons, memories that have guilt associated with them can act as triggers for overthinking too.

• High stress

Times of elevated stress and anxiety can kickstart your overthinking. This is because stress has such a big impact on your thought patterns, and it can influence your confidence – doubt and worry becomes constant. Your stress creates a cycle where your mind is constantly racing and analysing potential stressors.

Strategies to Control Overthinking

Mindfulness & staying present

To tackle your self doubt and overthinking, practicing mindfulness serves as a great strategy. Being in the present moment and practicing mindfulness helps to reduce stress, manage anxiety and promote self appreciation (How to be present and live in the moment, Meditation & Mindfulness blog, calm.com). Mindfulness provides a kind of roadmap that’ll help you navigate the terrain of your overactive mind. By consciously directing attention to the current moment, you will be able to untangle yourself from the web of unhealthy thoughts that often characterise overthinking. The act of staying present shifts your focus away from hypothetical future scenarios and uncertainties to the tangible aspects of the ‘now’. This intentional awareness promotes an amazing sense of calm and clarity, creating some form of protection from overthinking. So, in your quest to combat the struggle of overthinking, use mindfulness as a ‘go-to’ tool.

Utilising decision making framework

Let’s talk about decision-making frameworks. When you’re faced with certain choices, does your brain flip into overdrive, weighing every possible pro and con, yet you never come to a conclusion? Well, it sounds like you’d benefit from using a framework to direct your decisions. These frameworks, be it the classic + and – list or a more sophisticated method for tackling life’s dilemmas, offer a structured approach to decision-making which can give you reassurance and a boost of confidence . By breaking down choices into more manageable components, decision-making frameworks rescue you from the labyrinth of overthinking.

Here are a couple decision making frameworks for you to use:

For these 2 frameworks we have used the example of deciding on which house to buy.

• Logic tree

This framework is a great visual representation of a decision which you need to make.

1. Start with a problem or a goal, which will be the top of your tree.
2. Work your way down by providing all possible options/decisions that could be made.
3. Branch out from each option by writing down the costs, benefits and any other important comments. This will lead you to making a firm, better thought out decision.

• Decision matrix

This mathematical approach is even better for leading you to an answer when you are uncertain or doubting yourself.

1. Draw up a table and list your possible options/decisions down the left hand column.
2. Across the top of the table, list the criteria you will consider in making the decision (i.e. price, distance to work/school etc.)
3. Assess each of these factors and score them based on their importance in your decision (out of 5 or 10).
4. Evaluate all options under each factor that you are taking into consideration (out of 5 or 10).
5. Finally, multiply the score of each factor by the value that you’ve established for each option (i.e. Price x House A). The option with the highest total is the answer to your problem.

The logic tree and decision matrix are two of many frameworks out there. Delve further into the “various approaches and techniques to decision-making” here.

Instead of spiraling into an endless loop of ‘what-ifs,’ you can follow one of these frameworks, making the decision-making process feel less like a chaotic rollercoaster and more like a leisurely stroll.

Seeking support & perspectives from others

Navigating the maze of overthinking is difficult on your own, so why not look for a helping hand? Seeking advice, support, and different perspectives from others is not something you should shy away from. Friends, family, or mentors can offer valuable insights and even serve up a reality check when your thoughts are spiraling out of control. In many cases, a fresh perspective will be the antidote to your overthinking paralysis. Sharing your concerns not only lightens the mental load but also introduces diverse viewpoints that you may have not thought of in your solo contemplation. Remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers!

What next in your self-discovery journey?

Now that you have some tools to combat your self doubt and overthinking, you are well equipped for the future. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by self doubt or consumed by your thoughts, take a step back, use these tools, and spend some time and energy in controlling the chaos.

Your journey of self improvement and self discovery is never ending. But, what’s next for you? Take a look at our other blog posts to guide you in this insightful, eye-opening journey. A great next step is journaling. Trust us, even 10 minutes a day of writing in a journal will be so good for your emotional well-being. Keep on investing in yourself!