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This post is for everyone who is looking to improve themself as a friend, and improve their existing friendships. Your friends play a vital role in your life, and you play a vital role in theirs. It’s extremely important and beneficial for you to put time and energy into these relationships.

It’s time for you to level up your friendship game! Becoming a better friend might seem like rocket science at first, but don’t worry, we’re here to help! Your friends should be able to turn to you for a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, for some guidance and, of course, for a good old laugh. So, how do you get there? Spoiler alert: It’s all about the effort you put in! Make a nice beverage, find a spot to kick your feet up and keep reading for all the tips on how to be a better friend.

Finding Your Reasons

Why is it that you want to become a better friend?

You know, figuring out why you want to be a better friend is the first piece to this puzzle. By sifting through your layers of thoughts, you will find your reasons and be able to define exactly why you want to be a better friend. Is it that you’ve realised how much genuine joy deeper connections can bring you? Or have you experienced the satisfaction of being there for someone when they need it most? There are plenty of relationships aspects that can motivate you. Perhaps you’ve had an out of the blue lightbulb moment: you now recognise that stronger friendships do lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. Whatever your reason, once you’ve found it, it’ll be like having a compass direct you in your journey of building friendships.

Finding out your unique reasons and properly defining your motivation for wanting to become a better friend is super beneficial. It helps give you clarity, encouragement and you become more self-aware. Clarity in all goals is important, and there is no exception with this one. You don’t go from being an average friend to a great one overnight, so it takes commitment and persistence. That’s what clarity and encouragement will help you with – staying committed and being persistent! Self-awareness is important since you’ll constantly be reflecting on your own behaviour and thinking of how you can adapt your approach to becoming a better friend.

What You Need to Focus On

Communication

Improving your communication skills is for sure your biggest focus with this goal. Communication impacts everything else in your friendships. Let’s put it this way: thoughts, opinions and feelings will constantly swirl around in your head, but without a clear way to express them, they might as well be locked away in a vault. That’s where your communication skillset comes in. And it’s not just about expressing yourself honestly, it’s about listening with interest and intent. Effective communication will lay the foundation for deep connections and allow smoother sailing through any friendship storm.

Empathy

Empathy will play a considerable role in you learning how to be a better friend. It isn’t something you simply learn from reading books or watching videos. You need practice. When a friend comes to you for support, they don’t necessarily want you to fix an issue. They may just want to you to listen and to understand, and that is where your empathy can shine. Right now you may just blankly nod in this situation. In the future, with practice, that nod will evolve into effective phrases like “I hear you, I can only imagine how difficult this is”. Always do your best to understand your friends’ feelings and perspectives – put yourself in their shoes.

Respect

You can not skip this one! Respect is staple of friendship, and you need to focus on this when improving who you are as friend. The groundwork for healthy, successful, long lasting friendships requires trust and respect. Just like you want to be treated with kindness and understanding, your friends deserve the same respect. It may seem obvious that you need to be caring, empathetic and kind to your friends, but you might be slipping up on these values more than you’d like to be. Always remember what the foundation of your friendships are – they are all built on trust and respect.

Reliability

Showing up, not backing down, honouring promises and staying committed is crucial in friendships. Being reliable is one of the most important things when it comes to improving yourself as a friend. Failing to be there for a friend can really hurt them and tear a rip in your connection. Communication and reliability go hand and hand. Set realistic expectations, clearly communicate them and honour them. The thing is, you can’t make every house party or study sesh, but you’ll be there when they call in need of a shoulder to lean on, and that’s what’s important.

Support

Support isn’t just something that’s nice to have – it’s the glue that holds friendships together. That glue keeps your connections strong so they can survive through thick and thin! When you supporting your friends is set as a priority, you create a network of trust and encouragement, where your friends feel comfortable and, at the same time, empowered. It’s about being their biggest fan, their rock in the tough times, and their partner in crime during the good ones. So, if you’re serious about becoming a better friend, focus on being there for your mates and lifting up their spirits.

How You Can Be a Better Friend: The Steps You Need to Take

Once you’ve found what you need to focus on in this journey of becoming a better friend, put it all into practice. Here are the actions you need to take in order to become the best possible friend you can be.

Communicate openly and honestly

Make sure that you communicate transparently. Share your thoughts and feelings even when you are unsure of them. It’s important that you don’t shy away from telling them what you really think because it will bring you closer and strengthen your bond. Encourage your friends to do the same!

Listen actively

From here on out, you’re going to be fully present when your friend is talking. Use body language (maintain eye contact, nod, have open arms) to show that you are engaged and interested. Also ask questions for them to clarify or expand upon what they’ve said. Active listening makes all conversations quality ones (Mind Tools).

Show empathy and compassion

Learning how to respond to the emotions of others will help you in being a better friend (Empathy, Help Guide). Start practicing empathy so that you can understand your friends’ feelings, perspectives and show how much you care. Show compassion and validate their emotions by inquiring about how they feel, asking questions in a sensitive manner, and sharing supportive words.

Offer support

Offer your help and encouragement when your friend needs it. It’s not just a matter of being there for them during difficult times, but also to celebrate their successes. Show up for your friends, offer kind words and lift them up when they are feeling down.

Establish and respect boundaries

Understand and respect the boundaries your friends have, and if you feel that boundaries are lacking, establish some. Give friends space when they need it and avoid pressuring them into doing things they’re not comfortable with. Boundaries are necessary for healthy friendships.

Be non-judgmental

Accept your friends for who they are and when they make mistakes, do not judge them. At the end of the day, everyone makes mistakes! Judging people negatively impacts your friendships and your own mindset. Avoid criticising or condemning their choices and actions.

Stay connected and initiate hangouts

Make an effort to stay in touch and maintain your friendships, even when life gets busy. Reach out to your besties regularly and make plans to spend time together. It means a lot to your friends when you are the one to text first, make a phone call or find the next fun activity to do together. It may be tough to stay connected sometimes, and that is all the more reason to set aside blocks of time to catch up (digitally or in person).

Remove any distance

There are two situations where you can remove distance in your friendships. Of course, long distance friendships are one. For friends that are far away, make sure that you put in time and effort to plan for your paths to cross. The other situation is when there is little to no physical interactions. Are you a huggers? Then hug! Communicate what you and your friend are comfortable with so that you can show the most physical affection possible (The Benefits of Physical Touch and Affection, BetterHelp).

Show appreciation

Let your friends know just how much you value them. Express gratitude for each of your friendships and acknowledge the positive impact they have had on your life. Show appreciation by giving gifts or sharing kind words. Appreciation and gratitude are very important for improving your friendships.

Apologise and forgive

Always be willing to apologise if you make a mistake and forgive a friend when they do. Communication and understanding are key to resolving conflicts and strengthening your friendships. Forgiveness is very powerful. If you are willing to forgive a good friend when they have upset you or made you angry, it actually brings you closer than you were before. That’s because it is proof you can get through anything together!

Make them laugh!

Don’t forget to make your friends laugh! To become a better friend, you’ll learn to understand your friends better, and that includes getting to know their humour. Friendships need lighthearted moments in the mix otherwise they will turn out stale and serious – that’s no fun! Keep doing your best to bring a smile to everyone’s face. A well timed joke or witty comment goes a long way in making someone’s day!

How becoming a better friend improves you as an individual

Becoming a better friend is a transformative journey that not only enriches your friendships but also enhances who you are as a person. Through cultivating empathy, improving communication skills, and broadening your perspectives, you develop a deeper understanding of others and yourself. This journey you are embarking on will help with self-awareness and resilience. By nurturing your friendships and supporting others, you strengthen your social bonds while also building great qualities such as compassion and generosity. This path leads you to becoming a better friend, a better individual and to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.