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A lot of people get caught up in a lavish idea of what self-care is. They think it’s all about pampering, treating, and indulging yourself because you may have had a rough day. However, this is not true self-care.
True self-care comes from a daily effort to take care of your well-being. This means attending to your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and social needs so that you can promote your overall health and happiness. It’s about consciously making decisions to do things that will benefit your well-being in the moment and over time.
In this post we will outline some of the key factors of true self-care. We will also give you some ideas and examples so that you are 100% clear about what true self-care is and can get started on your self care journey.
The Key Ingredients Of True Self-Care:
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is truly understanding yourself and your needs- an essential aspect of true self-care.
Self-awareness is the increased ability to understand yourself. It involves reflecting on your strengths, limitations, and your desires. It comes with knowing what your values are, and what is important to you in life so that you can learn to prioritise things that matter most to you. Most importantly for self care, self-awareness is knowing what you need to help you function through all emotions and situations you may experience. Maybe you are the type of person that needs a hug when you feel sad or to go for a run when you are stressed or angry and maybe you want to be around friends when you are happy. Being conscious of these needs can help you best look after yourself and practice the most effective self-care in those situations.
Becoming self-aware involves evaluating how you are feeling on a regular basis. This means checking in on your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional states often.
Self care for self awareness:
- Keeping a daily diary/journal and keeping track of your feeling across these four areas- doing this is great for helping you notice patterns and start finding solutions to help yourself. Also write about your goals, desires, values and aspirations- it’s always great to keep these in mind.
- When experiencing a strong emotion, stop for a minute and be present with it. Notice how you are feeling emotionally. Notice the thoughts that are going through your mind- don’t judge them or dwell on them, simply notice what you are saying to yourself in the moment. Assess how you are feeling within your body and try to evaluate what might have caused you to feel this way.
- Practice mindfulness- doing this can really help you bring consciousness towards yourself and your feelings in the present moment.
Social relationships
Your social connections play a big role in maintaining your mental health and are definitely considered to be a part of true self-care. Nurturing healthy relationships with your partner, family, friends, or even your wider community can help give you a sense of belonging. It can also help you develop support networks and feel a sense of acceptance that may contribute to your internalised feeling of meaning.
Social relationship self care ideas:
- Contact a friend that you haven’t talked to in a while
- Invite your family over for dinner
- Give your parents or your grandparents a call
- Invite your friend/s out to do something fun with you
- Volunteer at a community event
- Spend some uninterrupted quality time with your partner
Mental and Emotional State
Looking after your mental and emotional is a big part of protecting your overall well-being. Managing your stress, allowing yourself to think positive thoughts, and reducing your mental load can be ways to foster a good mental state. Similarly, doing things that give joy, properly processing your emotions, finding gratitude in everyday things, and asking for help when needed can also be good ways to look after your emotional health.
Activities that support your mental and emotional state
- Make time for your hobbies
- Take breaks from social media, or clean up your feed so that it is a nicer place for you to be
- Set reminders for yourself and write things down so you don’t have to rely on your brain to remember everything
- Practice gratitude and mindfulness
Physical Health
This is one of the more obvious aspects of true self-care. After all, it is one of the seven pillars of self care. It is also the one you probably have heard the most advice about.
Essentially, looking after your physical health requires you to:
- Drink enough water
- Get enough sleep
- Exercise
- Eating nutritiously
- Go to the doctor when you need it
- Avoid harmful behaviours like taking drugs, smoking, and drinking excessively.
Looking after your physical health is integral to everything. You only have one body at the end of the day. Please look after it.
Engage In Personal Growth and Development
Self-development is all about taking consistent action to keep growing, learning, and improving. Engaging in self-development and focusing on personal development goals gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Involving self-development in your self-care routine also gives you the opportunity to create a well-rounded sense of well-being. It can also increase your self-esteem, build your resilience, and help you create healthier relationships. Ultimately, engaging in self-development allows you to invest in your future self while meeting your current needs.
Ideas to help your personal growth and development:
- Learn a new skill
- Break a bad habit/create a healthy habit
- Read, debate, and discuss new ideas with someone
- Take a course about something you are interested in
- Practice a skill or a hobby so you can improve
Setting Boundaries
True self-care is all about creating healthy boundaries in your relationships and allowing yourself to say no when you need to so that you can after yourself. Setting boundaries and using the power of saying no helps respect your limits and not spread yourself so thin that you begin to crumble. It is essential for helping you to create and maintain balance in your life and stop yourself from burning out.
Some advice:
A big part of setting boundaries is actually listening to what you truly need and want and using that to guide your decision-making (hello self-awareness). A great piece of advice I once heard was: “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.” Try to apply this to things you aren’t obligated to do in life. It will seriously help you free up some of your time and help you start focusing on the things you want to do.
Time Management
Managing your time is true self care. Making sure you have enough time for the things you have to/need to do and the things you want to do is true self care. Finding the balance between your responsibilities and your downtime helps to stop you from feeling overwhelmed. It also helps you feel a sense of accomplishment and makes life more fulfilling because you have time to pursue the things that are meaningful to you.
Time management self care ideas:
- Don’t take on additional things when you don’t have the capacity for it- know your boundaries
- Don’t force yourself to keep going if you feel you are burning out. Rather stop, assess your schedule and see how you can rearrange it so that you can take some time for some immediate self care.
- Create yourself a realistic schedule/routine so that you can balance your tasks and priorities with your social commitments and hobbies.
Allow Yourself To Rest
Rest is good! You need time to rest and recharge, otherwise you will burnout. Part of true self care is recognising when you are feeling drained and allowing yourself to have a moment to stop and take a break.
Restful ideas:
- Have a 10-15 minute nap during the day
- Take short breaks to give yourself a chance to recharge during/between tasks
- Stop and have a mindful moment in your day by engaging in some deep breathing or following a short meditation.
- Schedule some downtime for yourself- whether that’s a couple of hours one evening or scheduling yourself a whole self care day.
Self-Compassion
True self-care is a self-compassionate practice. It involves you treating yourself in the same way you would treat a loved one or a close friend. This means showing yourself kindness, empathy, patience, and understanding- especially when you are going through a more difficult period of life. Inviting self-compassion into your life can improve your self-esteem, help you achieve a more stable sense of self-worth, and improve your resilience.
How to practice self-compassion:
- Practice setting realistic self-expectations
- Celebrate all your wins- big or small
- Find ways to stop comparing yourself to others e.g. unfollow particular social media accounts
- Notice negative self-talk and try to replace it with something positive
Frequent Reflection
Life is full of changes. These changes might alter your self-care needs over time. Reflecting on your self-care routines occasionally is how you can maintain true self care. It helps give you a moment to assess whether your self-care practices are still meeting your needs and are still realistic for your life.
So, make it a habit to occasionally reflect on yourself, your life, how your self-care is currently serving you, and how it can be improved to serve you better.
Remember that true self-care is not about instant gratification, pampering, or indulgence. It’s about making an effort to engage in choices and practices that support a healthier lifestyle that will benefit your well-being now and in the future. So do some reflection, find out what works best for you, and then try to be as dedicated and consistent as you can in your self-care routine. You deserve your best effort. You are worth it.