Are you wondering what habits of yours might be considered toxic? Toxic habits are habits that are built subtly but are harmful to you and/or your character. So, do you have any toxic habits that are proving difficult to break? Yes? Well, you are not alone! Many of us form unfavourable habits throughout our lives that can seriously hold us back. What is important is that you recognise these habits and that you take action to minimise them! We encourage you to focus on the worst of your habits and eliminate them one by one. Rome was not built in a day!
Toxic habits can be detrimental to a person so, work on stopping them by replacing them with good habits that will result in better health and create a better lifestyle for you!
Here are 15 toxic habits that are holding you back.
15 Common Toxic Habits:
1. Staying in your comfort zone
Ah, the comfort zone. It is such a nice place to be; away from risk of failure and limiting stress and nerves. Why would you leave?
This is an understandable mindset although, it is certainly not one to endorse. Always remaining in the comfort zone is a toxic habit. It is holding you back!
Take this as an example:
A close friend of yours is very studious and prides themselves on academic achievement. They apply to universities all over the country and happen to be accepted by their top two options. One well-respected university is local however, a better-respected one is far from home. Your friend has never stayed more than one night out of town, and they’re worried about the idea of moving. What would you suggest?
Stepping out of the comfort zone can be extremely beneficial, especially in a situation like the example above. Taking opportunities that scare you will provide the most rewarding results. When things are easy, or require less stress, we do not experience the same level of growth or even sense of achievement.
2. Stressing over stresses
Day-to-day life brings about many challenges and these can often create stress. Sometimes stress can come about so easily which in itself is very frustrating. Greater stresses packed on top of smaller ones can take a terrible toll on your energy and health.
Life does not always wait to hand out each challenge at once, it sometimes dishes out many at the same time. When you are faced with challenges and stressful times one by one, you have a good chance of getting through it with only momentary stress. However, when we have so many stressful events and tasks thrown at us at the same time, it can amplify that stress and make you feel overwhelmed. Yes, this is normal a normal feeling, but it can seriously harm your day-to-day functioning if left unchecked. Therefore, you must learn to better deal with times like this so that stress does not hold you back.
Have you ever experienced a time where you feel the symptoms of stress but it is not associated to one event in particular? Where you simply just sit there feeling stressed and you don’t know why? Well, this is another we tend to stress over stresses. When you foresee times that have many stressful things, you tend to feel stress through anticipation of these upcoming events. If this builds and builds towards the event, it can become too much to handle and leaves you feeling overwhelmed.
There are two ways we can learn to deal with stressing over stresses. The first is if you are experiencing additional stress because there is a lot on at this given time, then you must break down what it is you are stressing over. Try to approach the things that are stressing you out one by one. You are not superhuman! Take one challenge at a time so that as you resolve each problem and make it through each event, you feel accomplished, in control and therefore less stressed.
The way to deal with stressing over what is coming in the future is to try stay in the present. It is often that we hear we should “live for today,” and “live in the now”. It sounds cliché, but it helps put stress into perspective! The more time we spend worrying or stressing about what will come, the less we thrive in the present. Plus, there is no guarantee that what you are stressing about will actually happen, so why worry?
3. Comparing yourself to others
This one is an easy toxic habit to slip into! You are surrounded by different ways in which you can compare yourself to others… think about it. All those social media platforms at ready and waiting 24/7 to show you what great lives everyone around you is leading.
Comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope. For starters it can stop you from having confidence in yourself. Less confidence leads to an array of internal issues. It leads you to questioning what you do, how you look, or how good you are at doing something. This can result in poor self image, it can effect your moods and can impact on how you live your life. Plus, it can impact on your relationships with others. If you are constantly comparing yourself to your friends or people close to you, you may eventually start to resent them. This may lead you to wanting to tear them down in order to make yourself feel better, it may effect how you talk about them to others and may impact how close you remain with that friend.
Do your best to admire rather than resent. Showing admiration for the people you compare yourself to will do good for you as well as them! It helps you build positive attitudes towards them rather than resent.
An amazing thing about each and every one of us is that we have unique identities and personalities. We each have differences as well as similarities. This is the beauty of living. Appreciate and celebrate your differences. Know that you are on your own path, your own timeline and what you are doing is good enough.
4. Neglecting self-care
Practicing self-care is necessary to feel happy and confident. Self-care is complex and broad, and when broken down completely, there are many micro habits involved. Taking good care of your own physical and mental health through forming good micro habits is what you should try to prioritise. Neglecting this practice will have some serious downsides, which impact on your physical health, mental health and general functioning.
It is important to note that sufficient self-care for each person is different. For example, someone with longer, darker-coloured hair may well wash and condition it more frequently than someone with shorter, lighter hair. This can be related to all micro habits. To achieve sufficient self care, you need to develop many small habits that become as automatic and tailored to your own life as washing your hair.
Neglecting too many micro habits relevant to physical and mental health is what will lead to maintaining little self-care. It is simply a toxic habit and you should never underestimate the significance of this.
5. Nail biting and picking
A very common toxic habit is to pick and or bite fingernails. Fun fact: Onychophagia is the clinical term for this habit. Fingernail biting occurs for many reasons; stress, anxiety, boredom… the list goes on. Frankly, it is a coping mechanism used when someone is overwhelmed with one or more of these feelings. Yes, these feelings are not easy to avoid however, practicing distraction from biting nails can have a very positive outcomes, like greater confidence in physical appearance.
There are many ways to prevent nail-biting, some more popular than others. One method is to use unharmful chemicals on fingertips to help turn people away from it.
Biting and picking nails will decrease confidence in people and make them further frustrated. Time to take action and minimise this habit.
6. Keeping poor posture
Poor posture is a worryingly common habit these days. With technology like computers and mobile phones, we are hunching over very often. Hunching can cause major discomfort for people and lead to many long term health issues. The only way to help avoid this is to correct posture as much as you can.
Your body’s posture is something to always remain conscious of. If you notice while walking that your shoulders begin to slouch forward, try to correct them by rolling them back. Friendly reminder, if you are currently slouching in front of a computer or bent over your phone reading this post, take a moment to adjust your posture. You’re welcome 🙂
Unfortunately, there is no quick and easy solution to stopping such a toxic habit. It does take a lot of conscious effort.
Improper posture will hold you back from everyday tasks and if it has not already, this will become a big problem. It can get in the way of your mobility and therefore fitness. It causes great strain on the body. So do yourself a favour and correct this as soon as you can.
7. Only hearing, not listening
All of us know that there is a clear difference between listening to someone and only hearing what they are saying. Being present for someone to speak to means providing them with your undivided attention and giving them affirmative and considered responses to let them know you have really listened!
Some people develop a toxic habit of losing attention easily in conversation and that can be recognised by the speaker. It can be seen when minds wander and you are no longer focused on the conversation. This can make the speaker feel upset and or frustrated. As a listener, you need to always be giving your best efforts to retain your own interest in a conversation. Even when you might not be interested in a topic, showing that you are trying to listen as best you can, will make the speaker feel valued and appreciated by you.
Everyone deserves to be heard and more importantly, everyone certainly deserves to be listened to. Give them what they deserve.
8. Saying what you don’t mean
One habit that a lot of people share is trying to please each and every person they meet. This is absolutely not a bad trait in itself but, when we go as far as being untruthful, it can really hurt. It is at this point that it becomes one of the toxic habits.
Honesty is so crucial to building and maintaining relationships, so when we say things we do not mean it can really hold us back from having close relationships. The more we speak our mind, the more we find someone who understands and appreciates our unique viewpoints.
It is key that we do not hide our opinions our withold the truth for when we try to protect someone’s feelings either. Communicate openly and honestly and break the toxic habit of saying what you do not really mean.
9. Talking behind someone’s back
To talk negatively behind someone’s back can really harm the trust within a relationship.
When you are not communicating about frustrations or issues you have with someone to their face, many of us share a tendency to want to speak to another person regarding it.
When someone frustrates you or you develop a problem with them, you may not feel comfortable talking to them about it. In this case, you may feel the need to delve into the issue with someone else, maybe a close friend or partner. It may be a way of letting of steam, and that can be okay, if done in a safe environment with someone you can trust.
However, the problem lies in what is said behind someone’s back. If you are explaining the issue or frustration to another person, or expressing emotion, that can be reasonable. Well, it is reasonable to an extent, but it can quite easily become harmful if you start saying awful things about the other person or start sharing their secrets. If you begin to delve into the issue by bad-mouthing the person to another, or you continue to avoid talking about the issue with the involved person, it can become seriously toxic.
Also talking about the issue with someone else doesn’t necessarily solve everything, generally the problem will still be there when you’re done. So ideally, rather than talking to someone else, you really need to have a discussion with the person you are frustrated with. That way you can try resolve the issue, maybe build some trust and cut the hurt that you may cause by talking about them badly behind their back.
10. Expecting the worst
Possibly one of the most toxic habits that is holding you back from achieving your goals is expecting the worst from everything. When we have multiple outcomes all with the same likelihood of occurring, it can be common to assume that the worst one will happen. Expectation may seem more like just a matter of mindset, however, expecting the worst is actually rather a toxic habit built over months and years that changes your mindset and the way you live your life!
Expecting the worst can be a habit you build when you expect the worst outcome in a situation and for reasons out of your control, the worst happens, reinforcing that expectation. But here is really where you have to stop and think. How many times have you expected the absolute worst and it hasn’t happened? Probably most of the time right? Generally you will have just freaked yourself out or worried for no reason. This can be a crippling habit to get into, because it can stop you from doing a lot things for fear of things going the way you expect (the worst possible case).
In life, so many things are left to chance, but generally these things are out of your control. When you are able to have influence or even better, full control of an outcome, that’s when you can make your best effort to get the best outcome. BUT, when things are not in your control, try to practice not worrying about outcomes. You can either do this by focusing on the good outcome, or reason with yourself about the worst outcome. Ask yourself how bad it would really be if that worst outcome really happened. You could also ask yourself what could you do to make the worst outcome better in the event it did happen and find comfort in having mental solutions in place.
11. Complaining to everyone (about the little things)
Complaining is a habit that countless people acquire over time and the occasional complaint can be a healthy thing. However, over-complaining is a toxic habit. It may well be what is holding you back from achieving your goals and feeling good about life. This toxic habit can affect your personality, your social image, your emotions and your mindset. You will notice if you are excessively complaining to everyone that most conversations you have are negative and energy-draining, leaving you in a negative mood. You may also notice that you may not only be the only one feeling drained of energy too (think: the person you are complaining to).
It is when we stray away from using thought-out complaints as a constructive form of communication (like to give feedback) into complaining about each and every little thing to everyone that complaining really takes a toll. You may eventually find that you will have nobody to complain to…people get sick of listening to constant complaints.
Over-complaining can also take away from the effect of a complaint. If you are going on and on about minor events that cause frustration, having a conversation with someone to complain about a significant, stress-inducing event will not have a relieving impact. Plus, over-complaining can effect your mindset. Take for example a task that you have been seriously complaining about doing. How likely are you going to want to start this task after you have just built up all this negative emotion towards it. Not likely right? Cue the intense procrastination….
Do your productivity, your mental state and your friends a favour and try quit complaining about everything.
12. Taking work life home
Another one of the toxic habits that may be holding you back is taking your work life home with you. Attention all workaholics!
This tends to be overlooked by too many people. It is great to have passion about what you do for a career, and it is admirable to have work ethic that is not confined to the hours between 9am and 5pm but when you let working and living fall out of balance, it can lead to negative outcomes. Time with family and friends is important and so is looking after yourself and your home environment. If work is consuming too much of your week, you may stop doing important chores that help keep your home healthy, you may neglect relationships which means you risk slowly isolating yourself. Brining your work home (both mentally and physically) may also mean you never get a chance to relax, putting you at greater risk of running yourself down.
Not bringing work into your household and keeping it all at a separate location can be a helpful way to stop this habit. What will also help is recognising that you are only human, you can only do so much in one day. if the tasks are not urgent, it is 100% okay to leave them to the next day and allow yourself stick to a cut-off time so that you have time to live and rest.
13. Excessive drinking
Alcohol. It can be considered fun to occasionally drink to be drunk but it is sad to say that it is abused by too many people. Abusing alcoholic beverages can result in quite scary health conditions for a person.
It is when a person or group of people drink alcohol excessively and become reliant on it that drinking becomes one of the toxic habits. Reliance will lead to mass consumption and then potentially the inability to live a functional day-to-day life.
Even with societal pressure and binge drinking cultures, no one should feel they have to cave into that pressure and drink when they would not like to. Having the habit forced into you is not one bit okay.
If you are struggling with this behaviour, it is okay to seek help. There are many groups, like alcoholics anonymous (AA), who can help you get started.
14. Resorting to food as comfort
Stress in life is unavoidable.
School and work generally lead to some levels of stress. It can become overwhelming at times and we all have different coping mechanisms. One common way to cope is eating and drinking. Resorting to food as a source of comfort is a toxic habit. It is important to note that we all require different amounts of food. What you need to focus on is understanding your body. If you feel genuinely hungry at the same time as feeling stressed, do not deprive yourself, fuel is important.
However, what we are considering a toxic habit is when you are seeking out food to counteract negative emotions. This could either be in the form of overeating (when you aren’t hungry and just eating for the sake of it) or feeding your emotions by snacking on highly processed sweet or salty snacks. Getting in the habit of improving your emotions through food can lead to weight gain, a negative self image and increase your risk of getting health issues associated with increased body weight, like heart disease, diabetes etc.
Moderation is key to all of this. It is okay to snack, but in moderation. Also finding better ways to channel you emotions might be way to replace this toxic habit with a healthy one. Rather than reaching for a pack of cookies, try going out and doing a form of exercise you enjoy.
15. Telling yourself you are incapable
The last of all the toxic habits is believing that you are incapable.
Each of us face different difficulties in life. Whether they are small obstacles or scarily large ones, you can work through them.
Instead of telling yourself you can not do something, be your own cheerleader, tell yourself that you can do it. Even better, adopt a growth mindset! Your abilities aren’t fixed, you have the power to improve. So turn that “I can’t do it” into an “I can’t do it yet statement” and believe that you have the ability to grow and learn.
What you think also has a big impact, so build yourself a positive mindset using positive self talk. Rather than tearing yourself apart, try saying to yourself: “I am capable”. Go on, say it again.
Which of these 15 toxic habits are holding you back? Remember, you are not alone. We are all creatures of habit and we all pick up some bad ones along the way. You have the power to replace those toxic habits with good ones and improve yourself.
